Gone

Ding Dong

Katrina sat up in her bed as the resounding doorbell shook her entire being. She glanced wearily at the clock beside her through tear-filled eyes. “Oh, it’s only a little after 3,” she thought sarcastically, as she could only imagine who would possibly be at her door at that time of night.

“Why does he think he can control me like this? Showing up at my house in the dead of the night.” She knew he would come around eventually, because their fights never lasted long after they began. But nevertheless, she was pissed about the whole situation. And had she been asleep instead of crying over him, she’d be even more furious with Brian for awaking her.

She stomped down the hall of her quaint apartment, tenaciously flipping on each light switch while wiping the tears out of her eyes. The last thing she needed was for Brian to see her crying yet again over another one of their ‘’meaningless fights.’’ Meaningless to him, that is.

After hearing the doorbell sound again, Katrina turned on the outside light before swinging the door open, expecting her prince charming to be standing there. Assuming it to be Brian, she spoke before seeing his face. ‘’What took you so long, I was starting to think—.’’ She stopped mid-sentence when she saw the man standing in front of her. Little did she know that he was, in fact, her prince charming, coming to save her. But the man towering above her, clad in navy blue Adidas windbreaker pants and a yellow Nike shirt was anyone but Brian Cohen.

“Justin,” she stammered. “What are you doing here? It’s 3 in the morning.”

He was somewhat embarrassed by his spontaneity and the awkwardness of the situation. But he had come on a mission, and he wasn’t leaving until he completed it. He was, however, stifled when he saw Katrina’s tear-stained cheeks and puffy, red eyes. She was so beautiful when she was happy. He hated to know that she was sad over something. “I um… I came… I know it’s late, but I had to talk… Trina are you okay?”

“Yes, Justin I’m fine. I just would like to know why you’re standing on my doorstep at this time of night.”

“I’m standing on your doorstep because you haven’t let me in,” he retorted flirtatiously as he stared her up and down.

Katrina suddenly became aware that she was wearing nothing but a gray wifebeater and Tazmanian Devil boxer shorts. “Okay, well you have fun out here,” she replied, as she began to shut the door.

“No! Wait! I really need to talk to you.”

“What could you possibly have to say to me that couldn’t wait until tomorrow?”

“Look, I’m sorry for waking you up and everything, but I have to get this off my chest before I go crazy.”

Trina looked at him hesitantly, but let him in from the damp Orlando air of the humid April night…morning to be more specific. They retreated to the bar stools in Katrina’s large black and white-themed kitchen and sat at the counter.

She searched Justin’s slate-blue eyes for some sort of expression to see if she could decipher the urgency of his visit. But all that she could sense, however, was fatigue and restlessness. So she waited for him to say something… anything. “Justin, now would be a good time to talk,” she reminded him as his eyes frantically darted around the well-lit room.

He spoke slowly as he assessed the situation, and what he was about to say. “It’s very hard for me to do this. I don’t even know what I’m say— doing, but here we go.” He paused for effect, and to see if her expression would soften, but to no avail, she still had the same emptiness plastered on her usually perfect face. “Okay, it’s been a while now since we’ve met.”

“It’s only been 3 months,” she interrupted.

“Whatever. It’s been long enough. And I don’t know about you, but I’ve been noticing quite a few changes lately.”

“Changes like what?”

“Well I don’t know exactly. It just seems that we share something really special. Ever since I saw your face, nothing in my life has been quite the same. It’s hard to explain, but it’s there. I love how I feel when I’m with you. And…”

Katrina yawned loudly, emphasizing her bored and very exhausted state of mind.

“Are you listening?”

“I’m listening, but I don’t hear anything. Could you get to the point so I can go to bed?”

“It’s not that simple. What I’m trying to say is… okay… well, you know I like you right?”

“That’s it? That’s what you came over here for at 3am?” She rolled her eyes exaggeratedly. “Justin, get out.”

“No, Katrina, that’s not what I came here for! I came because I had to know…” He paused. He wasn’t aware of how cheesy this all sounded when he went through it in his head. Now, he was too embarrassed to say it out loud. He thought for sure that she would just laugh in his face after that outburst.

Trina was getting very impatient with him. She new she was overreacting and being terribly rude, but it had been a long day. After fighting with Brian all afternoon and crying over him all night, she was in no mood to play games with the man sitting across from her.

The raw emotion that she felt for Justin when he was around, sending her hormones in 50 different directions maddened her to the point that she ended up taking it out on him. The feelings that she felt for him, when she knew she shouldn’t have, on top of the fact that she had a boyfriend… well it was a dangerous combination to say the least. She rubbed her tired eyes, making them look worse than they had before. “You just had to know what,” she inquired, softening her tone drastically.

“Would you be my girlfriend?”

Katrina’s jaw dropped in utter shock of his question. She had wished and waited for this time to come. For 3 months, this is what she had hoped for. But thinking it would never come, she never rehearsed an answer. She wanted to say ‘yes’ so badly. She was on the verge of forgetting that Brian Cohen had ever existed. But her mind was taking control of her heart. “Justin,” she started, sadly, “you know that can’t happen.”

“Why not,” he inquired. His eyes pleaded with hers.

“Because J, you know I have a boyfriend.”

“Where is he?”

“What? I don’t know.”

“He’s not here,” he retorted, “where he should be. He’s the reason you’re crying isn’t he?”

“That’s none of your business Justin.”

“He shouldn’t be making you cry Trina. He should be wiping the tears away. Better yet, he should be making sure that nothing ever makes you cry.”

“Stay out of it, okay?”

“Look Trina, all I’m saying is that I’m here, and he’s not. I care. I care about you, and how you feel, and what you have to say. And I love everything about you. I love the way you can light up a room the same way you light up your eyes whenever you smile. I love the way you think. I love the way you speak. Hell, I love the way you breathe. I want you Trina.” He cupped her face with his massive, but soft hands and stared deep into her eyes, seemingly into her soul. “Obviously, he doesn’t.”

She thought about everything that he was saying. And he was right. Where was Brian? Asleep in his bed, not giving her a passing thought? But she shook the thoughts from her mind. “It’s not that simple. I can’t just pack up and leave Justin.”

“You can’t?”

“I won’t. I love him. And that means something.”

“Did you know that love can be a shield?”

“What’s that supposed to mean,” she asked, genuinely confused.

“It means, maybe you love him, and he loves you, but in the back of your mind, you know he doesn’t care. You know that this isn’t real.”

She was so confused, and so hurt by the truth that Justin was speaking. He was opening her eyes to things that she already knew. But she kept her eyes closed to shield her from any pain that was undoubtedly headed in her direction. “But I love him,” she repeated, more for her own benefit than his.

“And what if I love you?”

“Don’t do this to me,” she said softly, as a silent silver tear slid down her golden cheek.

“Don’t do what,” he asked innocently.

“Just don’t,” she said, even softer this time.

He looked at the broken shell of the woman in front of him, and he wanted to cry for her. He wanted to cry for all the pain Brian had put her through. It wasn’t fair that Brian had a hold over this angelic creature that Justin was now holding in his arms. He didn’t deserve her. “If you’re asking me not to care for you, then I’m sorry, but I just can’t do that.”

Katrina went limp into Justin’s strong arms and let the intense sobs overtake her body. He held her gently as he brought her over to her couch, which could support both of their tired souls. He simply let her cry, resting his cheek atop her soft black hair. “He doesn’t deserve you,” he said quietly, just above a whisper.

After she cried in Justin’s arms for another 20 minutes, she finally sat up to look into his eyes, which were halfway closed. He had been operating on a lack of sleep since the day they’d met, for he had spent many restless nights simply thinking of her. She stared at him with an extreme curiosity. It amazed her how close they had become in a matter of three months.

But there was no denying the feelings that she harbored for his man. He had a gentle, rustic quality about him. There was no doubt in her mind that what he said to her earlier was true. And she decided it was time to let her heart think for itself.

Her eyes, along with her mind wandered out the window, landing on one of the many stars twinkling in the sky. But this particular star was shining so brightly, Katrina would have thought it was shining just for her. She knew that if she let Justin in her life, he would be that star.

“Justin,” she asked, to see if he was still awake.

“Hmmm?” he replied, seemingly half conscious.

“I got an idea.”

He opened his eyes slowly and looked at her cautiously. “What’s your idea Trina,” he asked wearily.

“Why don’t I be your girlfriend?”


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